I’m so excited to present my first guest post! Infant feeding can be such an emotional topic and when things don’t go as we plan, it hurts. The following post is Courtney’s story, in her own words, and I’m so grateful she decided to share it. ~sjm
I was a first time mom with my hopes set high on breastfeeding. During my pregnancy I had many complications and was told formula feeding was probably my best bet. But against what I was told I was determined to breast feed. Then the wonderful day my darling son was born! Due to more complications he was immediately taken from the room until they could keep his fever under control. After 4 hours I got to hold my baby boy for the first time and I instantly went to feed him. I was a young mom and weary from a rough labor but the moment he latched on I felt the instant bond the experts and studies talked about.
Unfortunately that was the only time I had an easy feeding. Through out my 49 hour stay in the hospital I struggled to get him to latch properly. I had many nurses come in and help but I grew weary of it. As we left the hospital gave us some liquid formula, I made a snide comment abut not using it. I wanted to give my child the best milk, my milk. I was a bit naive at the time. I don’t know why I thought breastfeeding would get any easier as I got home. It was our second night home and my son woke up ready to eat. I tried to get him to latch but he wouldn’t. I tried pumping in a bottle and feeding him that way but he just screamed and cried. My heart broke. I felt I was a failure because I couldn’t even feed my own child. I called the hospital for advice, followed the instructions on putting sugar water around the nipple, trying to squeeze a bit into his mouth until it registered. As his panic grew so did mine. I began crying. I was resolved to feeding him drop by drop through a straw. After 3 hours of drip feeding him I was out of pumped milk. I tried pumping more but nothing was coming out. My son started his crying and screaming all over again. My husband decided he was not so stubborn to use the formula we were given. He wanted our son to be happy. He made him a bottle with the formula and my son instantly latched to the bottle with no problem.
I had to leave the room because I was so heart broken. I wanted nothing more to breast feed and in that moment is was taken away from me. But I was so grateful for that formula as well. It did what my body couldn’t. It gave my son the food he needed. I wrote the hospital a thank you letter. I never switched formulas either. My son loved the one we were given and it worked well with him. He did not spit up. Had no reflux or reaction to it. Formula was my life saver. I have 2 more kids since and I breast fed them. I had no qualm in supplementing formula every now and then. I agree whole heartedly that any way to feed your child should be taken in to consideration. Human milk or formula, when you have gone hours of hearing heart wrenching cries knowing your child is hungry, either choice gets the job done.