So apparently all my uterus needed was a firm but loving lecture about letting go, because my son was born the day after I posted my missive. Looking back, I was probably in early labor all day Sunday. I’d had contractions all day, but nothing too regular and nothing painful.
Things felt different on Monday morning. I had one of The Signs that labor might be imminent, which was very exciting. All morning, my contractions were about 4-6 minutes apart, but not painful. Still, something told me to skip my workout and just kick it. I made sure the hospital bag was completely packed and my labor playlist perfected. I was ready.
Contractions started getting a little more painful around noon. Nothing big, but a noticeable change. I had an OB appointment at 3:00, so I figured I’d wait until then and see what they said. I had to meet Bryce at 2:30 to drop one of the cars off for service; by then the contractions made it a little hard to drive.
At the appointment, I was a little disappointed to find out I was only dilated to a 2. However, the nurse practitioner said she could feel the bag of waters. I figured that was a good sign, and she said it was up to me whether I went to L&D now or later. This was at 3:45, and I decided to go home and wait.
After my appointment, the contractions started coming every 3-5 minutes. And they got progressively more painful. I spent some time in the shower, on my exercise ball, on all fours. Around 5ish, I decided we needed to go in. When the L&D nurse checked me (at around 5:30), I was dilated to a 4 and she said my membranes were “bulging.” Time to be admitted! Which meant a half hour’s worth of stupid questions in between increasingly worsening contractions.
I also couldn’t get the epidural until they admitted me, took blood and got the bloodwork back. Son of a bitch. I had originally planned to do a natural birth, but at one point I looked at Bryce and said, “Fuck it, I want the epidural.” He nodded, eyes big and terrified. Good move. Unfortunately, it took so damn long to do all the paperwork stuff that I think it was about 7:00 by the time it was placed and the drugs flowing.
I was doing ok with the contractions. I focused on my breathing and when one would start, would chant in my head, It’ll be over soon. I think I had back labor, because my lower back and hips were in agony. I just prayed that the epidural kick in before my water broke. I was seriously terrified of what the pain would be when my water broke, because I remember how horrendous it was with Colt. When my water broke around 7:23, I was still feeling everything…sigh.
The nurse checked me then, and I was an 8. That’s when shit started going down, according to my husband (I was too focused on the intense, crushing pain in my back/hips to notice). He said about 6 nurses burst in and one started gloving up in these special brown gloves. Then the doctor ran in and pretty much jumped into his gown and gloves. He was a little surprised, because with Colt I didn’t start pushing until I was dilated to a 10.
At some point during this, they put my legs into the stirrups and it was time to push. This is when I was losing my head. I began screaming with each contraction because it hurt more than any pain I could have ever imagined. My husband said he’d never heard anyone scream so loud. At one point, I yelled that I couldn’t do it and honestly thought I was going to lose it.
Thank God the OB was a good one. He calmly and gently told me, “You can scream if you want, but when you do it actually makes the baby move up a little, makes it harder. It’d be better if you held your breath, grabbed your legs, put your chin to your chest and just pushed.” Something made me stop and trust him (even though this was the first time we’d met; my regular OB was on vacation). I quieted down and said, “Ok.” I did everything he said, and Jack was born about 3-4 pushes later at 7:33. In less than 4 hours, my body had gone from barely dilated to baby. I guess it’s true – when the baby is ready, he’ll come!
In a way, I got the natural birth I thought I wanted. The epidural didn’t numb anything except my left thigh, and that occurred after the birth. Now that I’ve done natural birth, I don’t think I want to do it again. That was pretty damn intense. And painful. More power to the mamas who do it and feel like warriors afterward, but I’m just happy I made it through without completely going crazy! He was 8lb, which helped (his older brother was 10lb 3oz, so 8lb seemed small!).
We didn’t get immediate skin to skin, which was disappointing. They said he was floppy at birth, so they took him to get examined while I was stitched up. But once he was placed in my arms, I didn’t care that it wasn’t right away. He was soft and beautiful and absolutely perfect, and I’m madly in love.